Men shouldn't open up to women, why dogs sniff each others butts, Sex with the ex was better Ep.14
0:01
[Music] already cancelled already canell already
0:07
can oh ready no we're ready we're ready you ready everyone ready yeah just fix
0:14
that microphone cuz now you going to fix it l no okay hey welcome what's going on
0:20
this is already cancelled already cancelled podcast yeah no see yes see
0:26
why do you look at us like that I want to come I'm feeling good today energy today I'm coming in feeling great Nish
0:32
jumps on board you look at me in disgust I don't look at you I look at her in disgust why every time it's like I can't
0:37
add anything in I thought you were doing what you did last week where you mimicked him and it was funny that's
0:42
what I was like I didn't wake up and choose violence today in fact I chose friendship so
0:48
yes get on the same wave please just just yeah just I just wanted to check in with Nishi since the the last episode
0:54
where we asked about Indian stereotypes I just want to say are you okay yeah it it was a pretty rough episode if you
1:01
haven't seen it go and see it uh or listen to it cuz it was pretty wasn't that bad it was intense questions it's
1:06
intense questions of a lot of years of racism and stuff that we had to address so I just wanted to check in for I feel
1:13
the questions were very random to be honest like I mean there were but you know what I'm sure a lot of people had
1:19
the same thoughts and I'm glad I could address them and uh give some clarity on the sit so go check it out it's a
1:25
previous episode Indian stereotypes yeah and we'll cover some more in the near future but today uh we've got a we've
1:32
got a weapon of an episode everybody yeah we do uh some news from Sha some info on dog sniffing butts and a council
1:39
Corner that will rock you to the core so hang out for that make sure you hit subscribe uh wherever you're listening
1:44
to us or watching us from now uh Nishi off the bat let's get let's get straight to Shaq yeah this I reckon we're talking
1:51
about you know intense podcast yesterday this is going to be way more intense because what Shaq said I personally
1:56
don't agree with I'm just going to say that off the bat but he went onto a podcast C and uh basically this is what
2:02
he said he goes a man should never open up to a woman because whenever something go down they're going to throw it back
2:09
in your face and I believe it was a yeah it was a big podcast with Shaq what type of
2:14
women is he dating like what do you mean why would they throw it back in the face like I get I get it but like well
2:20
clearly he's had experience like prior experience before who hurt sha is what I want to know but what like the idea of
2:26
not opening up to your significant other is wild to me men or woman that's wild I
2:32
think that's what actually makes a relationship is vulnerability is opening up sharing your emotions your
2:40
experiences like that's that that's so important if anyone's throwing it back in your face in an argument they're
2:46
clearly a toxic individual I was going to say he's probably dated the wrong people to get that to get that uh
2:52
thought planted in his head but at the same time I feel like there's a little bit of Merit to what he's saying what because you're playing
2:59
especially someone like Shaq how tall is that like 7 foot something like he's a monster can you imagine him being
3:04
vulnerable it just look weird it' look weird but I think it's necessary for a relationship of course for vulnerability
3:11
I don't think like Nisha what you said I don't think it's about gender I think it's about narcissism if you you'd be dating a narcissist if you've had to
3:17
have that reaction yeah do you know what I mean someone that turns it around and makes it about themselves wait did you just say it's weird to open up I no no
3:25
no I said there might be a little bit of Merit to what he's saying cuz end of the day you need to you need to play the
3:30
strong role you need to play the I don't know what you call it you can't okay okay you the masculine Ro
3:39
everyone has masculine and feminine energy within them that's constantly turning and going around right everyone
3:45
that's normal I wouldn't say everyone well like I know like like blokey blos that don't have a a touch of Fein seen
3:54
inside everyone does that's what like that's the problem is like men have this expectation that they have to be strong
4:00
that they can't open up that they can't show their emotions and that just leads to really detrimental but part of
4:05
strength is also admitting and practicing humility that's part of strength right you're actually a
4:11
stronger person if you can practice humility but I have to say the only way I could find it to have any
4:18
Merit would come back to what's the greater good M if something is the
4:23
greater good for example you don't share a particular emotion or feeling for the greater good of the household or for the
4:31
goal you're trying to achieve and that's going to uh transcend your family or
4:36
your life I think it's worth holding on to that and keeping it yourself and
4:42
sometimes it's important to deal with things yourself wait wait I don't get what you mean though give me an example
4:47
like what would you not say that would be beneficial to your
4:53
family it doesn't have to be like an actual like real life example yeah I know but I'm I'm trying to I'm trying to
4:58
I'm trying to put it into and trying to find an example of it but like let's just say by you
5:04
sharing by you sharing that you're could it be yeah I was going to
5:10
say you talking like something like a domino effect where if you know if you know that you share this this thing about yourself it's going to Domino
5:17
affect into let's say hypothetically your partner feeling a certain way and then her feeling negative about it and that might affect your children and that
5:23
might yeah I get that that's how I see it I can't come up with an example because like it's I don't know it just
5:31
it's totally subjective so if a guy or a girl doesn't want to open up about a particular thing find out what is the
5:37
greater good of opening up about it if it's better to open up and say Hey listen this is the go from my point of
5:43
view then do it but if it's and but if it's not keep it to yourself and I think
5:49
the most important lessons are the lessons you learn by yourself that's true no you you definitely have a mar in what you're saying I guess I guess if
5:55
you're holding something that your partner should rightfully know even though it might have a bad effect
6:02
on how they feel or you know your children feel maybe because she will be
6:08
upset and act a certain way I feel like it's very circumstantial like you could use that and say well I'm
6:13
not going to say anything because I know she's going to feel terrible about this but she should know I'm not saying if you cheat on your partner you shouldn't
6:19
say it cuz it will break your relationship up cuz the greater good is you guys staying together no that's called manipulation and being an [ __ ]
6:25
yeah yeah I'm saying like uh I'm saying like you know you guys have a goal together and you know it's going to it's going to
6:32
benefit the family and you're almost reaching it there and you want to pull out because you're sad about something else suck it up mate it could be as
6:39
simple as being stressed about something you're stressed about something at work whatever keep that to yourself figure it
6:44
out yourself because if you tell your partner she might get stressed out that or go see a counselor things you can do yeah exactly
6:51
exactly what exactly did Shaq say just one more time so that he he said a man should never open up to a woman whenever
6:58
something go down they're going to throw it back in your face so I'm assuming
7:03
like I don't the context isn't really there I wish I knew exactly what he said I think it needs to be reframed and said
7:09
a person should never open up to a narcissist because you get nothing from it that's what it needs to be said yeah
7:15
yeah because is it's like I imagine him like Shaq I'm assuming he's had
7:21
experience which is unfortunate uh having an I don't know let's say an emotional moment saying this happened to
7:28
me when you know a few years ago and I feel a type of way about it then they have a fight and that individual uses it
7:34
in a negative way to him being like well you know what you're messed up because of that moment and you know and then
7:40
uses it in a very toxic way yeah that's that's just a toxic relationship you never want to be a part of something like that but if you feel like you can't
7:47
open up to to someone um you need to tell them that I don't feel like I can open up to them and then you see their
7:53
reaction to it yeah and figure that [ __ ] out together it is it is a weird it is a
7:58
weird place to be because even a lot of people on on on the the comments here are against what he's saying saying you
8:05
know that's not emotional intelligence yeah it isn't like emotional intelligence is being in touch with yourself it's holding yourself
8:11
accountable and it's being accountable in whatever you do um and obviously being confident enough in your partner
8:17
to know that she'll be there for you or he'll be there for you if you have something you want to talk about that's true I think that's important to have
8:22
that open communication I feel bad for him again back to that Merit on greater good I think that's also needs to apply
8:29
in some shape or form yeah yeah it's it's all circumstantial right but yeah I
8:35
feel bad for Shaq like obviously he's been through some things that has made him feel that way feel I was going to say I do not feel bad for Shaq the guys
8:42
had like a top 0.01% life on Earth I don't feel bad for a bit of a
8:47
relationship issues that don't really give a [ __ ] about bro like go crying go crying you Bentley he's a flat earther
8:52
as well no he's not yeah Sha's a flat earther [ __ ] is he a flat earther
8:57
he's not all right well then I take any Merit to what he says there's only one thing do you mean yeah as soon as he
9:03
opens his mouth and he you Flat Earth I still believe K's a bit of a flat earther yeah no no no I'm not a flat
9:10
earther at all I'm open to so many different things are you a 0% Flat Earth you don't believe in it at
9:16
all he's a 1% flat earthor the silence speaks More Than Words thank you in his head he's thinking great or good yeah
9:23
good for the podcast don't open up to them yes exactly right there's one thing from Shaq that I do like he he the only
9:30
advice I'd ever take from Shaq is the is the dad tax when you become a dad you have to introduce dad tax to your family
9:37
wait what's that so for example Lila walks lla walks in with chips yeah I
9:42
will take one or two chips from the packet and I will say Dad taxs and now she is doing it to her little sister
9:49
that's the circle of life it is it's uh yeah it's right so that's funny though you're actually teaching her good you
9:56
know Financial knowledge this is what she's going to have to go through as but I
10:01
feel like is it too early it might be too early either way look either way if
10:06
you're in a relationship you don't feel like you can talk you might want to question it and secondly uh just just know that you know sometimes your
10:13
feelings aren't the most important thing in in in the greater good of things so 50/50 yeah yeah just address some things
10:21
are sharable and maybe some things you don't really need to [ __ ] yeah is that what we're ending with that's it just
10:26
depends what they are you make the subjective call for example it comes up and then they ask you have you ever been
10:32
through this or have you ever done this then you lie problem you don't have to
10:37
go out of your way always yeah unless you're having trouble you don't have to
10:43
go out of your way to introduce something to your relationships not just
10:48
a partner but any relationship that can affect it there's you don't need to un someone it just depends what it is and
10:56
you will know you will know deep down if you should say it or you shouldn't say it let's create a quick hypothetical all
11:02
we love we love our hypotheticals here Aisha you're dating a bloke you've been dating for a month one month okay and
11:09
then he sits you down one day and he starts crying and he opens up about his life and he's balling his eyes out yeah
11:15
do you look at him as like you know oh this is way too early to be talking about this though no absolutely
11:21
not he's balling his eyes out literally absolutely not I I think vulnerability is strength what if he's boiling his
11:27
eyes out about his dog that died 5 ago I'll cry with him really yeah what about
11:32
if like he he he someone spilled coffee on his Pokemon card and he starts
11:39
crying that's where you draw the line no I mean look if it's if it's a Pokemon card that's worth a million
11:46
dollars understandable but like yeah obviously it it depends but ultimately I
11:51
think vulnerability is strength and it's good thing to be you'd rather someone who's vulnerable than not vulnerable I
11:57
think that causes more issues if okay what if you're dating for a month and then he starts crying over like Married
12:03
at First Sight like balling his eyes out see this just signifies this guy is very
12:08
emotional and needs to get in touch with and you probably just address that just you're a bit you're a bit of a cryb
12:14
there there's not not in that way because obviously then you want him to continue to open up this is a here's a tip don't kick someone when they're down
12:21
yeah that's the biggest thing man or woman you should always invite people to share their their emotions of course M
12:28
uh judge it but if it's becoming too much you might want to have a conversation about how to address these
12:34
emotions and actually fix your coping mechanism yeah cuz if someone's crying
12:39
over Married at First Sight I would think Rio that's obviously not the root of the issue there is something going on
12:47
and here are some numbers you can call to seek some help like obviously when's the last oh the last time you cried was
12:54
on the podcast wasn't it a couple episodes ago you cried about parents I'm I'm a crier I cried was the last time
12:59
you cried I have a um I have a weakness for Golden buzzers on like America's Got
13:06
Talent OR Britain's Got Talent I don't blame you blame I have like a full sensitive spot like it's really [ __ ]
13:13
up because I can watch the most [ __ ] up videos of people dying and I just like nothing I just won't care and I just like H it's life a cruel world out
13:20
there but then I watch but then I watch a a six-year-old on stage who sings like a Disney princess and then she gets the
13:28
golden Buzz I'll start Bing my eyes out yeah the edits are so good but you know ya is so interesting right because
13:34
you're so you're so right like something will happen or you I'll show you a video or whatever and you won't cry you won't
13:40
you know show emotion but then all of a sudden like something will happen like a coincidence where he's like oh my God
13:46
this is a sign from God or something and get my eyes will get te yeah yeah it's
13:53
so Random I you're like someone who you don't know who's going to cry or when you're going to cry or what like what it would elicit from you know watching a
13:59
movie or a video you don't know but with Ken I feel like he wants to cry I feel
14:05
like I he doesn't yeah he doesn't really C too often I found the only thing I'm crying out lately has been like really
14:12
cheesy movies movies like fiction yeah like real like I can't cry over a
14:17
fiction like you know like I would I would cry at the performance of the say it just say it do you know the
14:25
movie sing with all the little cartoon characters the gorilla and the koala and all the animals yeah you know in the
14:32
performance I I tear up oh that's sweet cuz why I don't know bro do you feel
14:37
like there's an inner star in you that wants I'm the gorilla no I don't know
14:43
it's just like like they work so hard for that performance they do and then they go and they smashed it and it was
14:49
like overcoming all the adversity of no one wanting to be at the performance and they you know the building's broke and
14:55
they're there and then they they do it and they kill it and so good at it like they're so good at it and I'm just like
15:01
oh my God like that's so like it's not even real exactly I find myself getting emotional
15:09
at like real like emotionally in terms of crying at like really cheesy places
15:15
at the moment I don't know what it is what I'm going through that's nice but it's that's what's going down it's the
15:20
edits man those those producers behind those Disney films someone overcoming like like ad overcoming and tri and and
15:27
having trium and all that like I feel like that it's the underdog to me is like I don't know maybe maybe that's
15:34
what I want I don't know there's actually one other thing that I cry always to and it's like um Humanity
15:40
doing good when I see like when I see like a homeless person give up his sandwich yeah to feed someone else like
15:47
that [ __ ] makes me cry as well or like the the puppies and the dogs getting rehabilitated or like someone like
15:53
throws them on the side of the road and then they're like they just need help and then someone takes them in and they like they like got they just got blood
16:01
and stuff and then 5 weeks down the track they're like a full functioning dog again Happ it makes me like ball my
16:07
eyes out well speaking of dogs I have a bit of information here on dogs remember how we done we've covered The Ant and
16:13
how it bites out well stings you well you know [ __ ] sex with you almost the be oh no
16:20
the ant The Ant and then you had the bee penetrates the bee which uh vomits up its honey like how it mags honey they
16:27
vomit into each other's mouth I have found from the same guy the reason why dogs sniff each other's
16:34
butts I've sent you the link pull up the video yeah I got the video oh no I'm terrified I want you to have a listen
16:40
this 30 seconds long have a listen to this the reason why dogs sniff each other's butts check this out ever seen a
16:46
dog sniffing another dog's butt well if you're like me you probably thought it was just because dogs are nasty and
16:53
enjoy the smell but apparently this is not true you see dogs have these special
16:59
glands that emit pheromones which contain information about that specific
17:04
dog we're talking information like the dog's age gender and even their current
17:09
mood and all of that data is stored in these pheromones which is the real
17:15
reason dogs sniff each other's butts what age G gender and mood is all stored
17:25
in pheromones in a dog's butt so he can say that oh this is a 5-year-old dog
17:30
which is like what what is that equivalent in adult ears 5 * 7 who gives a shit5 35 years so 35y old the age the
17:40
gender so but can't they so male or female and then the mood or he's happy
17:45
or he's angry yeah does pedophilia exist in dogs cuz I feel like by the time you
17:51
no why would you why the [ __ ] would you go there no cuz like this is what I'm
17:56
thinking right I'm thinking thinking cuz you know how dogs they don't look like they age it's like the
18:02
dog could be two the dog could be 10 you don't [ __ ] know the dogs do age they look they get gray hairs and stuff no
18:08
they don't yes they do dogs get gray hairs they yes you can tell what an
18:13
older dog like when my dog when my dog Chopper died right at the end of his age at 16 years old he looked like what he
18:19
looked like when he was like four or five really yeah they don't really I feel like they don't age am I going crazy here I feel a little bit because
18:25
every dog I've had has looked significantly older when they their like double digits really oh whatever anyways
18:32
um so what I'm saying here is hypothetically if like you know if pedophilia existed in dogs yeah by the
18:39
time they sniff their ass and realize that they're underage it's too late you've already sniffed their ass do you know what I'm saying but but that's like
18:46
a handshake what's more concerning to me is that dogs dogs noses are so sensitive
18:54
right they could smell from like I don't know 100 met away they sniff anything out so why are they shoving their nose
19:01
into the butt to smell it yeah I thought they just like the smell like couldn't they just sniff it from a I don't think
19:06
dogs can sniff distance I think they're just when they're close they can smell a lot more than what I don't think it's a
19:12
distance thing well clearly they need to get like the proper scent to be able to distinguish all those three things from
19:18
the pheromones that's actually wild that's like their handshake and how are you mate good to know like it's a full
19:25
conversation It's a Small Talk how old you are what what's that thing are you a boy or a girl what's that thing we used
19:30
to say on MSN you'd send like location age and something but like in three
19:36
letters oh yeah what was that I actually don't know I I don't know that's so
19:43
interesting yeah well there you go dogs are um well the equivalent the essential
19:49
equivalent will be looking at someone's face in human form well these days you can't assume
19:55
gender okay put the Ascend the gender to to the side for a second wait do you reckon we release pheromones from our
20:01
[ __ ] that tell us cell gender and stuff well my dog tried to S my butt the other day what'd he find out confused as
20:08
[Laughter] [ __ ] um was wait why was your dog why
20:15
was your dog sniffing your ass he tried to like cuz I was like going to feed him he ran straight back to his kenel
20:23
who the [ __ ] is that no my name's V can I ask you a
20:30
question when he started sniffing your bum no he tried to and then I obviously pushed him away okay okay I was going to
20:35
ask did you allow him no I didn't allow him to S my were you like just did just do what nature tells you tells you to do
20:43
no I said no and then I proceeded to feed him but dogs try to dogs try to S
20:48
any you wipe your dog's butt do I wipe my dog's butt but I give him a bath every week once a week and then I have
20:54
to wash his butt yes so how do you wash his butt what kind of question is that well I get
21:01
the soap and then I obviously like his doggy soap whatever it is and I put it on his fur and then then I put some
21:06
water on his but wait do you okay so you put some don't you why don't you use baby wipes so we're just doing some
21:12
technical fix UPS here I don't know if you should use baby you use baby wipes on dogs can you yeah I haven't I haven't
21:18
looked that up wipe its butt wait wait wait what do you you don't you don't wipe your your doggy's bum yeah I do
21:24
when I give him a bath I give I wipe his butt but not with baby wipe him daily oh it depends is he
21:30
is he usually outside more of I know that's good for his like anal Canal it's great well yeah he might wipe off his
21:37
whole entire existence one wipe and the dog is gone one wipe just take his identity and
21:44
commit fraud mine now one wipe it I'm buying alcohol with your age
21:50
um um does he spend most of his time outside or inside both ins you can't
21:57
spend most of your time oh no but like he's like half half like he stays for most of the day inside the house you got
22:02
to clean his bum hole then cuz when he sits on your couches and [ __ ] he's wiping his ass on on it yeah you
22:08
probably want to Wi you got you got to get some baby wipes yeah I don't there must be dog baby wipes out there I don't
22:13
know I have to look get baby wipes that are just like it's it's not like there's no like chemicals you get like fragrance
22:19
free ones yeah okay I'll look into it thank you for [ __ ] man now i' got another job someone said someone said in
22:26
the comments instead of Bluetooth it's it's um butt tooth you know Bluetooth connectivity to find out oh yeah butt
22:32
tooth got butt tooth there's some pretty good comments around it yeah this is why I fight in public and tell people about
22:40
myself imagine that imagine like farts they probably do release stuff that give
22:46
information they just give stink no but our no capability can't actually but I can sense when a farts from YZ or farts
22:53
from n i don't fart so there's no sensing for me I've literally have not f
22:58
Ed here ever sorry I'm allergic to [ __ ]
23:04
yeah but it's true I I'm I'm sorry but I've I literally not your F have not
23:11
farted in front of you guys I have not done that there was a moment back in the radio Studios yeah I not farted when
23:19
there was a little a little stench that came out and then a soon as a Sten came out you went I need to go to the bathroom and then you went to the
23:24
bathroom and then me and K looked at each other and we're like but atast you know you do know that sometimes it's involuntary right like you it will slip
23:31
out no mine don't like I'm not lying mine don't actually slip out because let her uh we'll leave we'll let you okay
23:38
you know what yeah Nisha you don't fart no I do fart but I haven't F anyway moving on you know what else is uh
23:45
things that just slip out certain things that you say to your partner during arguments we've got a
23:52
counsel Corner ladies and gentlemen excellent we've got a we've got a counil corner now I'm going to read this out right so this is the this is the title
23:59
um my wife 36 said something pretty hurtful during an argument to me I don't know why they put their age in there
24:05
they're both 36 anyways let's read this uh little scenario in this relationship and let's uh discuss it my wife and I
24:13
have been together for 8 years and married for three we got into a pretty bad argument a few days ago about
24:19
something very stupid in my opinion and during the argument she said I haven't had good dick since my ex that's awful
24:28
after she said that I uh pretty much blew a casket I'm not even sure where or why her comment uh came from because the
24:35
argument had nothing to do with sex it's been on her mind weird right within a
24:41
few minutes she apologized for saying that but I can't really get it out of my head am I being ridiculous should I just
24:47
forget about the statement and accept the apology no yeah that's oh how long
24:53
have they been married for uh together for 8 years married for three why the [ __ ] is she still still thinking about
24:58
her ex okay well they know that sorry Nishi but like I'd imagine a girl knows
25:05
there's one way to crush a man's confidence and that is to talk about him in bed that is one that is only one not
25:12
only but that is one of the strongest ways to crush a man's confidence well I think she was L trying to yeah to Ken's
25:17
point I think she was trying to find the worst way she could hurt him and she said it just to get that reaction obviously what she said was so wrong and
25:25
I get why he can't get it out of his head but yeah it's like I I don't think you
25:31
break your relationship off because of that comment let me let me explain to you let me explain to you what she's now
25:36
done have you guys ever heard of retroactive jealousy never no okay so retroactive jealousy is one of the most
25:46
um problematic things in a relationship that a lot of marriage counselors and relationship counselors actually deal
25:52
with and it's very hard to get out of so what retroactive jealousy is it refers to to a person's distress or perceived
25:59
threat about their partner's past romantic relationships uh this can occur even if their partner is no longer in
26:05
contact with their ex the ex Partners have moved on and they are not interfering with the current relationship so by her saying what she
26:12
said she's now created this thought in this guy's head and what happens with this thought whether it's visual or just
26:18
you know he's saying it to himself 90% of the time it is visual though so right now he's actually thinking about his partner sleeping with the ex right and
26:25
it becomes an intrusive thought cuz once you have that thought in your mind you're like I don't want to think that it's all you'll think about yeah so I've
26:31
actually gone through this before I've gone through retroactive jealousy and it is the worst [ __ ] thing you could go
26:37
through in a relationship because you don't want to think about this thing but on a constant basis it's in your head
26:43
every 10 minutes it comes in and you're like [ __ ] off piss off I don't want to think about this and you keep constantly thinking about it and it ruins your
26:50
relationship that's what she's just activated in his brain I see your point although there's
26:55
guys out there that don't mind sharing you know what I mean yeah but that's that's what we're talking about that's
27:01
minority you'd be surprised you'd be surprised how many how many relationships are like that the
27:07
swinging and the not many I don't think I don't think it's that many oh there's a lot yeah okay give me a percentage in
27:14
your brain what do you think it is no I couldn't come up with one it's
27:20
very 30 40% oh this no way 40% look I think in this situation
27:27
in particular they've been married for 3 years she has said something that is
27:33
obviously very wrong do I think that they their relationship should end like no I think that's something that they need to Now work on because obviously
27:39
he's bothering him and and he should he's not in like he's not in the wrong for feeling that way so he should
27:45
address it and if that requires them to get some counseling whatever they need they should take that path but I don't think the marriage should come to an end
27:52
because what he needs to do is he needs to take all that energy the radioactive energy or whatever it is retroactive
27:58
retroactive jealousy jealousy Channel it and he needs to [ __ ]
28:04
her with good dick this is what he need to do you know what retroactive jealousy does no when you're having sex with her
28:11
you're going to be thinking about the partner it ruins everything bro oh that's [ __ ] no no guys it's very I
28:17
can't even explain to you the most like I can't explain to you the the intensity of what retroactive jealousy is their
28:23
relationship if it is retroactive jealousy their relationship is over I promise how did you did you overcome it
28:29
no I broke up with I you weren married yes I feel like marriage is very different I'm telling you now she
28:36
literally she literally that's that's basically betrayal without betrayal she took his manhood from him she looked him
28:43
in the eyes and said my ex like not in these exact words but this is what she said my ex [ __ ] me better than you did
28:50
yeah that's bad no of course it's bad of course it's bad but I once again I feel
28:56
like it's something that they can 100% work work through not 100% she has to come to the party now because she's the
29:01
one that's stuck the dagger in his heart or in his testicles whatever whatever it is she now needs to he needs to
29:08
obviously explain cuz did anything is there any more to the story well he said the next day this he continu said the
29:13
next day I still had the sentence uh playing through my mind that's it it's now become intrusive thought um and it
29:20
was putting me in a not of not a very good State of Mind before we went to bed I asked her how she would feel if I said the same thing to her about my ex she
29:27
said she would be devastated uh she then acted like she had no memory of ever saying what she said the day before go
29:34
get rid of her well you can't if she's not going to turn around and actually like it's obvious it's clear that he's upset about it work through it yes you
29:41
have to work through it she shouldn't be gaslighting she shouldn't that's ridiculous yeah like no not she's not gaslighting she she knows she said it
29:47
but she's acting like she didn't that's that's gaslighting no she didn't turn around and say no I didn't say that
29:52
that's called gas lighting no but she's she she said she's just he said that she's just acting back she's essentially
29:58
she's going back to normal as if nothing happened that's not I wouldn't classify this gaslighting what did she say no I
30:05
didn't well she's saying she's acted like she had no memory of ever saying it yeah so she's going back to normal she's
30:10
going back to everything's back to normal but if she's going to she's acting like she has no memory of it then
30:16
I feel like he just needs to say listen this is this is this is important like this is this is like on we are on the line here if you're not going to come to
30:22
the party and fix what it is I don't know what it's going to take to fix but we need to it takes a lot it takes a lot
30:29
I'm telling you right now CU you've just [ __ ] everything all I can do okay what would you do I'm just so curious y if you were similar situation married for 3
30:37
years relationship for eight and she says something like that to you your
30:43
wife how how do you think you would be able to navigate that God the only problem is the marriage
30:49
part the only problem is the marriage part because I hate the thought of like divorce M can we take the marriage part
30:56
out of it no I want the marriage part I don't know
31:02
if I'd be able to recover from it that's such a nasty thing to say oh it's very n yeah but take this into account for a
31:07
second all right if if they don't do anything about it what can happen in this relationship let's just say they
31:13
both try to move on but this stays something in his mind this could grow into an absolute demon for him I was
31:18
going and then and then he can actually become abusive to her because of this I
31:24
was going to say she she she might end end up becoming a victim of abuse
31:29
because he might be he he will lash out or he will you know so he needs to deal with it too it's not just her he needs
31:36
to do things to deal with it as well they both got to work at it because they can it can go very sour very quickly he
31:43
can start calling her names he'll then start saying certain things that that will demean her that's you know the sex
31:49
whatever you know like it's it's a very like that that will Spiro very quickly it's it's very very simple and I'm I'm
31:57
sure of this 100% the relationship will never be the same again from those couple words that came out of her mouth
32:02
the relationship will never be the same again but that could be a good thing I mean they could they could then grow into something that was better than they'd ever done he might go get lessons
32:09
in Sex and then she might enjoy it but she's got to give him the guide the the
32:14
the the counseling on it but you know what she can simply say and turn around if if she admits that yes okay there's a
32:21
truth to it but you know what my ex didn't give me is kids is is this is that and all these positive stuff that
32:27
we have we build a future all that stuff sex is this big to a woman from some a lot of the time a lot of the time it's
32:33
that much to a man it's that [ __ ] much it's a lot to a man yeah so but she's also got to she can't put it down
32:39
as if it's nothing but she's got to remind him that there's more to the relationship than just sex she has to she has to give him clure
32:47
he has he has to know that too yeah yeah she has to give him closure about what you said she has to address it they have to sit down and he has to you know also
32:53
be vocal about how it's made him feel and what he he needs from her to be able to essentially fix it but yeah they both
33:01
need to work on it like there's way she needs to work very very hard to fix it it's not on him it's not on it's not on him at all I'm looking at well hold on
33:07
for a second we might be wrong here guys verywellhealth.com they talk about the treatment of radioactive sorry
33:13
retroactive jealousy can it be cured well this is what they have to say recognizing that retroactive jealousy is
33:19
their issue and not their partner issue is the first step yeah but that's no but that's different that's different
33:25
because talking about an ex or being with an ex can cause retroactive jealousy and like for example if I'm
33:31
dating someone and I just know about her past or I know she's had sexual relations with a certain person that can
33:36
activate my retroactive jealousy it's got nothing to do with her but the difference in this situation exct she's created it she's come out and said this
33:45
person gave me more pleasure than you did like she's actually the the main source of the problem now okay that
33:51
makes sense yeah oh what a disgusting piece of [ __ ] she is it's very it's terrible people say things in the Heat
33:57
of the Moment and you know what learn to control yourself yeah you need to know and such a scummy thing to say like if I
34:03
was in a relationship with someone I can't compare it to 8 years cuz I haven't but I can compare it to my last relationship right which was almost 2
34:10
years if she had said that to me she's dead to me real quick you just end it there and I'll end it there and then and
34:16
I'll walk out I'll never speak to her again in my life really 100% 110% wow like I said to you I said I said this
34:22
actually when the mics were turned off I said once my peace of mind is affected in any way shape or form in a relationship I'm out but like my peace
34:29
of mind comes first not our relationship my mental health comes first not our relationship right and I hear I hear
34:35
what you're saying but I guess it's like it becomes complex when it's like you can't have a good relationship without
34:41
having the mental state right no of course but at the same time I'm not going to treat you the way I want to treat you you're obviously not
34:47
treating me the way I want to be treated what the [ __ ] are we doing in this relationship I'm out so quick you if you
34:53
have the bosss to say that to me even dude I've I've ended something with someone we dating for about 4 months so
34:59
I wouldn't even consider her an ex-girlfriend we're dating for 6 months and she threatened a breakup she threatened a breakup I said the second
35:05
that comes out of your mouth it's going to always come back let's end it now and I ended it and walked off that's true
35:10
you don't threaten breakups like it's just like like why are you going to that
35:16
I can guarantee if I ended up marrying that girl she's probably going to start threatening me with divorce yeah as soon as one little thing happens wrong right
35:22
I don't [ __ ] with that [ __ ] yeah but there's also things you can work on like because no one's perfect two imper
35:29
people come together and like there I get what you're saying there are definitely lines and things that sometimes you can't come back from but
35:34
ultimately also I do think it's very different when it's dating uh versus
35:39
marriage I think that's two two different Playing Fields entirely and then when kids get involved a whole
35:44
different 100 a whole different world so you have to assess your situation how much you care for that person and and
35:51
essentially how long you've known them for and if you really feel like you know them and what they've said is so out of line out of their character that's where
35:58
you make the assessment and go well is this just something they said to be hurtful with or is this something that has like actual truth to it everything
36:05
said has has hidden truth n you got to understand like I know we talk about Ray one about compliments having Hidden
36:10
Truths and stuff behind it jokes have hidden Hidden Truths Behind it everything someone says there's always
36:15
whatever their truth is behind it and people need to recognize that that's exactly the truth unun exactly the truth
36:23
people's people say things just to elicit a reaction because they know that
36:29
that person is affected by this one comment and that's not a good person why would you that's called a narcissist [ __ ] yeah yeah but but okay I I get
36:36
where you're coming from I'm not disagreeing with you but what I will say is that we all have had moments where
36:42
for example we're behind the car and we're driving and we get a bit of road rage and maybe we say something we
36:47
shouldn't say to the car to the car in front of us behind us like it's a it's
36:52
not a good human tendency but we we do it it's an instinct like it's but it say more about who you are than the person
36:58
you're trying to affect 100% I do agree with that but I definitely think that there are a lot of things that can be
37:03
worked on and in this instance she has said something that is very terrible but I don't think they they can't not work
37:10
on it well they they have too many other commitments that's it if they weren't married I'd say [ __ ] her off if they if
37:15
they they are married it's different story you're going to have to she's going to she's it's it's on her it's not on
37:20
him because he needs to be open and honest and he needs to handle it um I wouldn't say professionally but he to
37:26
handle it with maturely with with love and care for himself and for her and for the kids and for the the whole house and
37:32
everything that they've built so they both need to be mature about it what I would suggest is seeing a professional
37:38
professionals help yeah they do 100% seeing a professional for sure okay well we've covered a lot on that today I love
37:45
that well thanks for listening everybody thanks for being here it's already canceled make sure you subscribe hit the like button uh check us out on Instagram
37:51
@ kenas of Nisha um and we'll see you next time see you guys take care
37:59
already cancelled if you like the podcast prove it like share and subscribe and don't
38:06
forget to leave us a cheeky review