A man's deepest darkest secret

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[Music]
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already cancelled already canell already
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canell all right we need an update on
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the world yes what's
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popping you didn't say the
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usual the latest in greatest trending
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story around the world yes has it
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covered of course yeah a little bit of a
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different one today guys I was on the
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toilet scrolling through social media as
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you usually do and one of my favorite
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content creators uh chicklet.hf on
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Instagram and Tik Tok oh he's so funny
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him and his misses they do all the funny
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content and she's kind of like you know
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she wears the pants in the relationship
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and he's always getting put on it's
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hilarious right um he posted this uh
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video of him on a holiday on a boy trip
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yeah talking about how he misses that
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and obviously we know he does skits and
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he takes the piss but it really got me
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questioning have a listen to what he had
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to say for all those men that talk like
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guys trips are like the greatest thing
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in the world why you never talk about
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how much y Miss y Partners how much how
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much y Miss y girls how much y Miss y
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significant others well I never talk
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about that part right I'm convinced to
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guys that love guys trips and going out
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with their guys on vacation for so long
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hate their girls bro cuz me it's only
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been five days bro and I miss her I miss
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her bro and they don't talk about this
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part they don't talk about that like I'm
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tired of these
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[ __ ] y let's go out wake up
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let's go out
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I just want to
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cuddle I don't want to go out no more I
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just want to be
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hugged oh that's I'm so sus I'm so sus
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that he's did that video just to make
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his Ms happy but meanwhile he he closes
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down the the the camera turns it off and
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it's straight out with back to the
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strippers exactly no absolutely not but
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here's the weird thing is there any
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Merit to what he's saying we know that
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there's a that it's like a a skit it's a
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Content piece is a Content piece and and
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a lot of like these channels are
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reporting on it and stuff Hollywood
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unlocked them whatever but there's a
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poll that's gone out about it yeah men
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only do you ever end up missing your
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partner on a GU trip honest answers only
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did he put this poll up well no
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Hollywood unlock did oh sorry Holly
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unlock it okay my answer no if it's if
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it's a short trip okay if it's a short
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trip yeah but the guys trips don't go
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for what they don't go for longer than 7
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Days maximum oh seven days you start
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missing your partner for sure you know
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what's so weird you know
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what I'm going to admit something here
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yeah and it's going to sound really
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weird Okay
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I I don't think I've ever been on a GU
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trip what do you mean how have you not
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been on a GU trip you've never went
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messaged the boys hey let's go to the go
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Coast for the weekend yeah and gone for
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like two nights or something never done
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that
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never I've never been I've never been
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like are you in a GU group chat or
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something like that no do you have
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friends no well I had to ask the
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question do I have friends no I have
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family I have family like
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cousins Brothers I got a lot of brothers
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yeah you don't really go on trips with
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your brothers yeah I'm a very family
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orientated person what about school
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friends any school friends like that you
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talk to still at all not really yeah
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okay holy
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[ __ ] am
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I am I a
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loser there's a chance of that I want to
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say you're a loser but here's the thing
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like I'm So Dedicated at like being
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successful that I just like don't put my
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energy or time
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into friends gu people could say you not
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successful at having friends then but
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you're successful everywhere else You'
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you've had friends in the past right
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yeah yeah of course you've had the boys
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you've had the boys yeah but like you
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High School uni can I ask you a question
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High School uni the boys you used to
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hang around with yeah good good
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influence bad influence be honest just
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be just just I'm sure they would have
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changed the influence was more the
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influence was away from things that I
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wanted to do I wanted to do things that
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would make me successful in career did
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you have best friends at school though
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like you have you okay so you have [ __ ]
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off n I'm just making sure I want to
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know if this's a pattern in your life I
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wouldn't yeah no I've had I've had I had
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besties I've got best who's who's your
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best mate from school and where is he
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now black boys what's black boys doing
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he's a plumber do you still friends with
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him we talk when we see each other I
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wouldn't I would and that's your best
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mate from school yeah who's your best
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friend now like if you had to say
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someone was your best friend who would
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you say is your best friend now my wife
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oh that's beautiful that's cute like I
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was saying I was saying it last night
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cuz oh my God Lyla my daughter 4 years
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old asked me last night Daddy how many
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friends do you have you're like shut up
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llaut I said I said lla I only have one
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friend and it's your mom and she goes
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you're a liar you have a million friends
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what about your friends at work I said
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oh yeah yeah an an Nisha yeah they
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they're my friends
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too as you guys know you're a liar you
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have a million friends my daughter even
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think my daugh knows she knows you're a
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loser wait wait wait hold on having
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friends not having friends does that
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mean you're a loser no it doesn't mean
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you're a loser it just means that you
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have no friends you have no friends and
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can I ask you a question is line is is
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your wife your best friend yes no not
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finished is Lorraine your best friend
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because you don't have a best friend
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no it's just a she's just we've just
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always been like best friends but that's
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a different type of best friends no it's
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not like we would go do do what best
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friends do yeah of course of course but
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your partner is a very different type of
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best friend that's like that is a that's
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in a whole another realm but like I'm
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talking about like the boy's best friend
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like like I have the girls but family
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like I have like I have like I have I
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have a couple of cousins that you're not
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related to that well they they're
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married into the family so is that still
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related they have to be your best friend
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[ __ ] like you've got you've got no one
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outside of the family that you can
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really rely on no like one like like
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okay so for example with me hypothetic
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I'm trying to think um I need I'm inan
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I'm mean I need 10 grand today yeah and
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I don't I can't call family I've
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probably got four or five friends that I
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know will pull through no you haven't
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got that I am fully [ __ ] fighting
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this thing alone
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[ __ ] [ __ ] I don't think you're I don't
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wait wait wait wait wait I'm not sad
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about it okay I'm just having a
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realization
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I've never been on a boys trip [ __ ]
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organiz you want to go on a [ __ ] boys
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trip do you want to do it yes but you
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know what I you know what it is it's the
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I get like Dad guilt have you ever no I
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haven't had Dad okay so it's similar to
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simar it's similar similar to a concept
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called Mom guilt when you go you feel
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like no like there's going to be so much
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work to do at home there's so many
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things you have to get done taking care
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of the kids and stuff like I feel bad
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leaving leaving and going enjoying
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myself because I know at home it's going
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to be a it's going to be a lot of hard
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work to to carry two kids by yourself
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even though even though my wife is more
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than capable of course yeah I still feel
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bad and I know she gets it as well like
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even us having to do work and dropping
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off does Lorraine have girls trips does
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she ever do a girls trip before she has
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family as well we're both very family
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orientated see she she like again don't
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get me wrong we'll have nights out like
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we've had nights out before of course
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and we'll go at nights out with with a
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couple of mates or majority of the time
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it's family and she'll do the same
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because she's got a lot of girl cousins
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that she goes out with but doesn't she
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have a best friend CU I remember no no
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but like when y threw a party invited
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someone to that party wasn't that her
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cousin oh was a cousin who came to that
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party it was a cousin it was G oh gab's
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Gabby Gabby school yeah that's a cousin
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um so we found out Kan doesn't have
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friends um but it's it's Yeah well yeah
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I don't that's all right I'll organize a
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boy [ __ ] with you I consider you one of
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the
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boys yeah maybe am
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I is it me is what you the reason why am
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why like you've made the choice I want
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you to I want you to be honest though
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for a second yeah of course when am I
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not honest we're we're friends we we're
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friends but we're like brother friends
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right Nishi we're Sister Sister friends
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yeah would I actually be a good
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friend yeah am am I am I actually a good
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friend yeah yeah I don't see why you
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wouldn't be why wouldn't you be a good
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friend well I think you just I just
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don't know if if it's me not being a
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good like a good friend that's don't
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have people around me look best friends
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is something like very rarely happens
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once you've reached a certain age I feel
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personally just let me explain so a lot
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of my best friends have come through
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like growing up with them through high
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school and things like that now you can
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make best friends when you've like I
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don't know when your age or whatever it
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can happen but what I'm saying is it's
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not as common I think best friends
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happen through going through experiences
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through duration and and and you just
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weren't focused on that at the time my
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best mate did you did you move around a
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lot as a kid yeah oh there it is yeah
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well okay that makes sense there I went
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to four different schools in one year
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that's what it is well that's obviously
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what it is and you've just you've just
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adapted think that's what it is you've
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adapted to keeping family close and not
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worrying about the rest [ __ ] God that
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makes so much sense I feel like I'm
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having an epiphany that makes so much
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sense that's why I can't hold on that's
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why I can't like depend on people
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because I'd make friends and then I
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wouldn't have them
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anymore and then maybe you became so
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like scared to be attached to someone
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because you kept moving that you just
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decided it's not worth it to protect
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your feelings and you just yeah my
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married your best friend my best mate is
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practically family like it's fit ass
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he's been he's been I call him when I
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introduce people to him I introduce him
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as my cousin he's not my cousin but I
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introduce him as my cousin he's just
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been there I thought you guys were
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related yeah what I'm saying yeah um
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best mates from school I speak to them
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once every 6 months yeah I'll speak to
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them once every like years between
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talking that's normality bro holy [ __ ]
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but I do have I do have a friends group
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that will probably be there till that I
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don't like
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them it's just that it's hard to click
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with them
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because of just my mind frame my mind
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frames in like you know doing this
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project and working on working
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especially family like it's just this
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project like what I do here hustle and
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the family well this what's this what's
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Popp and just turned into a full therapy
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session yeah [ __ ] what are we talking
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about chck chck we're talking about
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going on boys trips boys trips yeah and
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we will extend it to girls trips and
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then missing your partner but again I've
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never been on one so it's hard for me to
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relate but even when I go on a date not
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a date even when I go out with some
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people leaving them back I get I do feel
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a bit guilty because I know that there's
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things to think there's a lot of
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responsibility at home but it's healthy
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to go do that because you need the break
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yeah when I when I go on girls trips I
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miss Jared 100% like if it's if it's a
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like a two night two nights trip and
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it's not that it's it's you know short
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then you know whatever we're having fun
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it goes really quickly but if it's like
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7 days then of course I I would I'm I'm
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really though knowing knowing that
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you're going to go home is going to be
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there you still missing yeah I get
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homesick really quickly though I don't
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think I've ever I've gone on many boys
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trips while being in a relationship
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knowing that they're at home and it's
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all good and I'm going to go back to
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them I don't miss them right it's just
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normal it's just like oh I'll message
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you I'll FaceTime you whatever I'm going
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to see you in s days yeah but like I
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feel like when you really start to miss
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someone is when you know they're not in
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your life anymore what no that's see I
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see that I see that I see that have n
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you've never missed someone that isn't
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in your life anymore I I know what it's
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like missing someone and I have missed
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someone like when I okay imagine Jared
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gone forever yeah obviously it will be
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that's that's consistent doesn't even
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matter if you're on a trip that's really
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missing someone that's just dude put
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elevated of course can I just tell you
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about my ex I miss her every single day
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every single day yeah she'll never
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[ __ ] know that well she'll probably
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knows that now yeah I was about to say
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but
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it's only because you can't go it's only
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because that's it that now what I had is
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gone yeah of yeah of course that's
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really missing someone yeah that's it's
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it's going to be a way worse situation
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100% of course you you're missing them
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way more because you're never going to
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100% I get that but what I'm saying is
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me missing Jared when I'm on a trip
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still is missing him but obviously yours
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is a very different type of missing it's
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like a way elevated yeah cuz you're
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never going to see them again you know
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what though now that I think of about
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what just went went down and what I've
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just had an epiphany of I'm [ __ ]
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happy about that I'd rather instead of
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sitting around talking [ __ ] in someone's
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backyard smoking bongs and [ __ ]
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drinking alcohol or at the par or
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wherever at the strip club I'd rather be
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sitting at home with my two kids
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obviously being a great dad number one
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number two sitting there with money and
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cigars and Scotch you know and chilling
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the [ __ ] out act and feeling feeling
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good because I feel successful I prefer
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to do that who are you having the cigars
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with chilling my dad I'd have a cigar
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with my dad I have cigar with my cousins
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my brother I'd have a cigar by myself
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it's always a celebration for me that's
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what I would do there's one comment here
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that's challenging that though it
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says this is what happens this is for
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the boys trip if you miss this is what
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happens when you have no identity
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outside of your partner and that's not a
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good thing it means that you've lost
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yourself and everything is wrapped
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around them it's borderline Obsession
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it's healthy to have friends outside
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your significant other enjoy your trips
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without them and life outside of them
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now here's the thing when you get
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married people need to understand one
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thing when you get married you are two
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people uniting as one but you were still
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two people you two separate paths still
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moving through life but you're holding
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hands as one or when you even in a
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relationship it's the same concept so
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yeah if you understand marriage
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properly that comment means nothing you
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should feel bad about that com means
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nothing well I get what he's saying is
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like I agree like I get what he's saying
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though you are two individual people and
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you should have a healthy
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relationship friends and you go hang out
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with people that's that's good and what
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about the people that what about the
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people that just have obsession with
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friends and always want to go out you
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have [ __ ] lost as well yeah that can
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yeah two extremes aren't good it's a
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balance everything should be balanced
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and keep in mind I'm sure when you're on
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a boy trip that your Mrs at home going
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and think [ __ ] the house is clean 100%
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I'm ordering [ __ ] Uber I'm eating
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whatever I want and I'm watching Netflix
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and no one can disturb she's having the
14:29
time of her she's [ __ ] loving it yeah
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maybe you should go on a boy trip and
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give Lorraine some um maybe give her a
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break for me yeah that be a good idea
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give her a break you know believe can't
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believe she lives with
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you
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[ __ ] I'm actually a really domesticated
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person at
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home like I'm [ __ ] on top of it man
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I'm vacuuming I'm dish
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I'm no cuz we share the load bra when
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I'm vacuuming and doing a dishes she's
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showering the the
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kids yeah that's that's like that's an
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example yeah when I'm mowing the lawn
15:05
she's doing lunch and doing the house
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stuff yeah you guys have a good um we
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have a [ __ ] amazing balance nice
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little system going on i' be I'll be the
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opposite in all honesty so opposite feel
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tell me right now tell me right now have
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you ever done the dishes yeah of course
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at home yeah when my mom's there no Mom
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does it mom does it when I'm when I
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lived by myself you had to to survival
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yeah
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oh yes and no oh
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God your mom come over no no no no no
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never did that no no we okay God it's
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going to make me sound like
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a I don't know what the word isans um so
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when I lived alone mhm I had a
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gardener you paid someone I'd pay a
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gardener and I paid a cleaner no you
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didn't yeah you do know that it was a
15:56
big n it was a big house that's but you
15:58
know what that's good for the economy
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Nishi it's good for the economy but you
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do realize people who clean your houses
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will never clean it as good as you CLE
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house oh no she cleaned it and firstly
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anyone can clean a house better than I
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can I mean that's also a fair point
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though like don't get me wrong I'd keep
16:13
it tidy and whatever i' vacuum what I
16:15
need to vacuum but like the proper clean
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the disinfectant the bathrooms all that
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stuff no I need a professional yeah I've
16:22
had I've had many professionals and
16:23
every time I've cleaned the house better
16:25
than they've and by the way the gardener
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great makes sense every 3 4 weeks it'
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cost me 70 bucks oh that's pretty good
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he'd come he'd do everything he'd
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Clipper the sides of the bushes i' would
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never get a gardener I would every
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single because because it's it's it's uh
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I've watched too many movies where the
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Gardener has sex with the wife oh my God
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I was living alone at the time so you
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all set that's the only time a man
16:45
should get a gardener is when he's
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single that's the only time I get it I
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do understand it that's the weirdest
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thing I've ever I'm telling you I'm
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telling you I've said this before a man
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gardening is the biggest turn on for
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women no it's not not you don't you're
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[ __ ] Nisha you don't tell me right
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now when you see Jared out the front out
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the back mowing the lawn's all sweaty
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shirt off looking all sexy you don't
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tell me that turns you on well he turns
17:09
me on but but it's not because he's
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gardening and that doesn't like elevate
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it I'm like oh my God yes the gardening
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situation I'm just like thank God he
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likes gardening I've said it before I've
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had I I've had the whole the whole Fe
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female side of Lorraine like Lorraine's
17:25
uh family females what what am I trying
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to say all the females from lra's side
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Fring okay wait I remember this story
17:33
because I was gardening they come over
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oh it looks so good the LA okay stop
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stop the story what was the youngest age
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of one of those women lorine no other
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than Lorraine oh who oh the reain age I
17:46
remember this story but I remember them
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all being elderly women yeah they were
17:48
all elderly women okay yes whatever was
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their Ms and their aunties
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whatever damn I feel like it's yeah and
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I don't know if they were doing it
17:57
because Grand BR [ __ ] know take pride
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in that
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[ __ ] oh God he's really old school isn't
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he look how because you know why they
18:06
see they see a man that's what they see
18:09
they see someone capable I haven't felt
18:11
this feeling since 1954 and then I'm
18:13
like do you want me to Mar your lawn's
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baby oh God anyways boy STP I got you
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yeah where would we go there's no really
18:22
to go but should we do a surprise boys
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trip like I don't want to know anything
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no oh my God my a buck that was a boys
18:29
thing the buck and had all the boys were
18:32
they all your friends no they were all
18:35
family there was two mates there was two
18:38
mates there was two mates there and I
18:40
had them cook in the
18:41
barbecue fair enough what did you do for
18:44
you B I'm curious we uh went to the
18:46
Southern Highlands at our house so First
18:50
Southern Highlands it's not Highlands
18:53
it's
18:54
Highlands this is this is this problem
18:56
with Australia right you have [ __ ] IM
18:58
immigrants telling other immigrants how
19:00
to speak [ __ ] English this is the
19:02
problem well no I just I used to do a
19:03
radio show in Southern Highlands it lose
19:07
my job I said the Southern Highlands
19:09
doesn't really much of muchness right it
19:11
doesn't make such a difference no it
19:12
does you piss the locals off Southern
19:14
Highlands Southern Highlands is that it
19:15
yeah so we had to the Southern Highlands
19:17
bed the house out in the middle of
19:18
nowhere purposely whereabouts just
19:20
curious know Southern Highlands it's
19:22
Southern Highlands is a big [ __ ] area
19:24
there's areas in between Robinson don't
19:26
know what that is Robinson good very
19:28
nice area though
19:29
beautiful huge [ __ ] house what'd you
19:32
get up to get up to any uh murder
19:35
the murder in the dark guys all right
19:38
guys switch the lights
19:40
off shotgun being the murderer no no you
19:44
out to no good we had fun yeah yeah yeah
19:47
is now bad anything yeah everything or
19:50
just a little bit all of it oh yeah they
19:53
always know all of it don't they there
19:56
was one thing that was meant to be
19:57
ordered for me yeah she couldn't find a
20:00
way there it's hard to get to the
20:01
southern Islands yeah then it wasn't a
20:04
stre power oh no no yuck yeah yuck what
20:08
the hell was ordered for you
20:09
then I don't know if I can say it just
20:12
we can beep it out we can pre-edit it's
20:15
fine dwarfs why can't you say that what
20:19
why can't you say dwarfs dwarfs wearing
20:22
Mexican hats it's great with chips and
20:26
dip in the hats is that a service
20:29
hold on they just walk
20:32
around you just grab are you lying is
20:36
that a service is that an actual
20:39
service is that a service guys I'm
20:42
serious is that
20:45
legal so you're telling me a
20:48
dwarf so you'd be like chatting with the
20:50
boys with a beer in your head and you
20:52
just see this
20:53
floating this floating chip and dip come
20:56
where in the internet and the Deep dog
20:58
dog internet do you order this
21:00
[ __ ] I'm Googling it get
21:03
[ __ ] you're lying o why would anyone
21:06
get a stripper when you can get a a
21:08
dwarf dip hat dwarf chip dip dwarf chip
21:12
dip dwarf Dipper
21:14
chip
21:17
dwarf chip and dip there's something not
21:20
right about
21:22
it get the [ __ ] out of here no you're
21:24
lying it's a
21:26
service okay
21:29
okay how do you even how do you even
21:31
find that how quick did you guys find it
21:34
Well that's true but you have to be
21:35
looking for it are you kidding me order
21:38
chips and dip hat server it's called a
21:41
chip and dip hat
21:43
server
21:45
no yes baby this is the greatest website
21:49
so the website if anyone's interested oh
21:51
my gosh uh little delivery.com
21:55
uh costumes rates little people I just
21:59
want to see the hat and the dip and the
22:00
chips the thing is is these people like
22:03
everyone needs money right and everyone
22:05
does a job yeah and use your skills and
22:09
what you have to work with and make your
22:13
money that to me is a
22:15
hustler that is amazing n she I just
22:19
they're grabbing chips from the
22:21
hat that is wild that is that I I'm just
22:24
trying to think how you even Discover it
22:26
like you know what I mean like well I
22:28
didn't Discover it so particular they
22:30
come did they arrive may or may not have
22:32
yes or no no you're lying they did they
22:37
may or may not
22:38
have what happens on the uh
22:41
Buck this one can stay in the states in
22:45
the
22:47
Box Southern
22:50
Highlands he's going to order he's going
22:53
to use this website so boys trip
22:56
yes okay
22:58
[Music]
23:02
already
23:03
cancelled if you like the podcast prove
23:06
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23:09
forget to leave us a cheeky
23:13
review

A man's deepest darkest secret
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